I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
