Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize