She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
