This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i think i have herpe
just one?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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