Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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