talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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