LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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