I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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