doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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