I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
