Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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