when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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