$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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