The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
