turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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