Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
