If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
