Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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