I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
