It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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