My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
