you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
