You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
