hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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