the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
