So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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