At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
