People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So vagazzling was a success
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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