If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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