she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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