I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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