The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
