I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
