apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
