i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
