I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
