im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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