Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just cropdusted the office
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Panties = found
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
