So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
