He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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