I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Randomize
