Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She even gives head with a lisp.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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