The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
