Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.

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(253): View more from Washington

Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness

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(720): View more from Colorado

July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?

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(660): View more from Missouri

Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!

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(864): View more from South Carolina

the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane

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