I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Randomize
