This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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