Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
