He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
being pregnant is like rehab
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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