THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
