I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize