so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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