he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
