I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
