I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
