he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
