butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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