It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
