it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
