He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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