i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
