i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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